THE AGING EFFECT

Perasaan die macam pelik.
Muka tiba2 jadi panas.
Jantung mcm berdegup labih laju dari biasa.
Walau x selaju selepas marathon, tapi tak menyelesakan.
Makan pon mcm x lalu.
Nasib tengah diet, in a way, membantu la jugak.
Bila dia cakap aku heavyweight, aku x kecil hati.
Sebab somehow aku mcm yakin dgn dia, dia yg akan jadi yg halal untuk satu hari nanti, and die terima aku underweight (berangan) or heivyweight.
Tapi aku tak pernah buat istikharah, bisikan syaitan kah ini?

Nauzubillah.


Dah kenapa pulak bg voice message ni.
Kan dah tak boleh fokus buat keje
T_T


DALAM OFIS, 12.48 tghari.

Numb

I cant finish the assignment, I cant program everything well, the output wont come out I don't know what to do anymore.

My brain is numb, my legs are numb, my fingers are numb and worst come to worst,  the heart kinda goes numb too.

Dear friend, pleaaassseee be strong. I can't think straight, worried  why you have been a little quiet tonight. This is crazy, but I think that I now finally realize what it feels like to be ...alone..

Be Strong

I cant focus right now
His mom passed away yesterday morning.
He told me last night, all calm, quiet and steady.
She's not suffering from any chronic diseases, just fell down from her motorcycle, and been in coma state for 24 hours.
Blood clot in the brain, something similar with my uncle 2 years back. Allahuakbar...

That must be a very shocking news for the family.
The eldest, a sister just got married last Saturday, and the Mom missed the reception on the groom's side.
Everyone in the family must feel overwhelmed by the news.
I know, being the first son in the family, he got too much to handle right now, and here I am, wishing him the whole strength in the world.

Words are easily uttered, i know, but we are too far apart for me to say anything at all.
Literally, and technically.

Semoga roh Allahyarhamah dicucuri rahmat Allah, dan di tempatkan bersama para solihin.

Alfatihah.
Ixora,
20140327

what shocking news means to me

I gained 5 kg in 4 months.
Crap, I am so dead!!

Google-d

being emotional

Life apparently becomes more and more ridiculous.
I've become a person who were constantly  being nagged at.
Someone who had just lose 4kgs in a month, is now looking at me as if i am some kind of monsters.
I've been asked not to eat something that i, on that time is eating.
Its been already hurtful of gaining weight, and someone happily told me what to eat and what not like i dont know it already.
I need someone who likes/ loves me the way i am.
About me wanting to lose some kgs, let me do it my own way.
You are truly happy with yourself, let me just be happy doing things my way.
I know, this is ignorant, but i need a more comforting words of advice.
It is good for you to become that attractive, but you dont have to insult others.
And i am the person who will just laugh in front of you, but inside, its burning.
It hurts so much, and nobody seems to care.

You who should not be named, I only have you, who are always there, n be my strength, who constantly say that I am the one you want n you will accept me no matter how much my kg is.
Be careful with what you just said, because we havent met for almost 2 years, and you do not know how bigger i became.
It will be more hurtful if u dont want me anymore, because right now, i only have you.

Its an emotional time of my life, because everyone is just too happy giving unnecessary comment about my size right now.
Benar, life is not just revolves around me, but in my world, i want to be the best, the prettiest, the brightest, the richest, the most loved and everything.

Note to self,
Let people live that way.
If you are not happy, let them be.
Dont listen to their nasty remarks, just be good to others.
Do good things.
Sedekah, supaya Allah balas dgn something better that will cheer you up.
Jaga hak Allah.
Jaga solat, the ultimate way to be close to Allah
Jaga solat, jaga solat, jaga solat.
Mudah mudahan Dia dengar doa kamu.
Bnyakkan puasa sunat. Puasa menjaga kamu dari perkara yg dilarang.
Bertaubat, dan istiqamah.

Kamu jaga hak Allah. Maka Allah will definitely listen to your doa.
Semoga kita semua sentiasa dalam redha Allah.

Bsp.
0044
08032014