as fragile as a glass

For god's sake,
I just suggested a pizza topping
And i got 'kuat makan lah ko ni' at my face

I hate you.

Excuse me, i am emotionally unstable at the moment

AIDILFITRI2014

Salam aidilfitri to everyone
Minal aidil wal faizin
Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum
Taqabbal ya karim

The raya celebration is nothing but the usual rituals
Bangun pagi2
Berebut2 bilik air
Berkemas2 apa yg patut

Owh, but this year,
One of the cousins decided to celebrate raya with us
This is their second raya without the daddy
Our beloved ayah chik *alfatihah*
They requested my mom's nasi dagang
And this raya morning is filled with so many kids, that'rare. Hehe
Good food, good people, good weather on this holy day
Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal

There is one different thing about this year's raya
Its not that im getting engaged or married or whataoever
Its just something that i wont forget.
I'd love to keep this raya memoir for the rest of my life

Its awkward, but i am happy
Things seemed to be working out well, for now.
Lets keep praying for more good things to happen
InshaAllah.

krik krik krik kinda post

The company's network will no longer allow us to open blogspot page
This is seriously dissapointing
But anyway, it is good
So that i wont be browsing through people's blog all day anymore -_-'

Another young engineer is leaving
He's been such an eye candy for these past two months
It is quite dissapointing when i heard it
But he must have his reason
So that is it
I must learn to let it go
It was never right to begin with

So, there is nothing much happening these days
It is now almost the time for my second semester final examination
The workload is so overwhelming
But still, i got my sweet time complaining in here
What a lazy person i am

Two more weeks for Ramadhan
Mashaallah cant wait for the month of countless blessings
Allahumma ballighna ramadhan

FLEXIBILITY

As usual, we were chatting.
Talked about this and that.
And then i'm saying something
About me being flexible
With almost anything
I just can go with the flow

And he asked about being flexible with him
Can i still can go with the flow?
And with all my heart
I said "i replied your text, that's a sign of me going with the flow. Slowly."

Then he said,
"Simpan dalam hati, kunci rapat2"

I said: slow2 la, tengah cari kunci.
He said: the key is with me. Penuhkan dulu, nanti saya bagi kunci.


There are fireworks inside my heart

Being Helpful

I am so happy to finally getting the chance to financially supporting my family.
Being able to help them out is somehow give me the feeling that i cant hardly describe
It's not much, I know.
But if that little thing got to make them an ounce happier, it would mean a world for me.

and sometimes,
I got my financially devastating moment
this not me complaining,
but I got no one to talk to
and in fact, this is not the matter that I can simply tell anyone.

I just believe that whatever u give to people,
Allah will have u rewarded in any way possible, that even we ourselves sometimes do not realize.

Allahummayassir.

Office, 11.23 am.

YESTERDAY

"Yesterday-THE BEATLES"

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me.

Oh, I yesterday came suddenly

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday

THE AGING EFFECT

Perasaan die macam pelik.
Muka tiba2 jadi panas.
Jantung mcm berdegup labih laju dari biasa.
Walau x selaju selepas marathon, tapi tak menyelesakan.
Makan pon mcm x lalu.
Nasib tengah diet, in a way, membantu la jugak.
Bila dia cakap aku heavyweight, aku x kecil hati.
Sebab somehow aku mcm yakin dgn dia, dia yg akan jadi yg halal untuk satu hari nanti, and die terima aku underweight (berangan) or heivyweight.
Tapi aku tak pernah buat istikharah, bisikan syaitan kah ini?

Nauzubillah.


Dah kenapa pulak bg voice message ni.
Kan dah tak boleh fokus buat keje
T_T


DALAM OFIS, 12.48 tghari.

Numb

I cant finish the assignment, I cant program everything well, the output wont come out I don't know what to do anymore.

My brain is numb, my legs are numb, my fingers are numb and worst come to worst,  the heart kinda goes numb too.

Dear friend, pleaaassseee be strong. I can't think straight, worried  why you have been a little quiet tonight. This is crazy, but I think that I now finally realize what it feels like to be ...alone..

Be Strong

I cant focus right now
His mom passed away yesterday morning.
He told me last night, all calm, quiet and steady.
She's not suffering from any chronic diseases, just fell down from her motorcycle, and been in coma state for 24 hours.
Blood clot in the brain, something similar with my uncle 2 years back. Allahuakbar...

That must be a very shocking news for the family.
The eldest, a sister just got married last Saturday, and the Mom missed the reception on the groom's side.
Everyone in the family must feel overwhelmed by the news.
I know, being the first son in the family, he got too much to handle right now, and here I am, wishing him the whole strength in the world.

Words are easily uttered, i know, but we are too far apart for me to say anything at all.
Literally, and technically.

Semoga roh Allahyarhamah dicucuri rahmat Allah, dan di tempatkan bersama para solihin.

Alfatihah.
Ixora,
20140327

what shocking news means to me

I gained 5 kg in 4 months.
Crap, I am so dead!!

Google-d

being emotional

Life apparently becomes more and more ridiculous.
I've become a person who were constantly  being nagged at.
Someone who had just lose 4kgs in a month, is now looking at me as if i am some kind of monsters.
I've been asked not to eat something that i, on that time is eating.
Its been already hurtful of gaining weight, and someone happily told me what to eat and what not like i dont know it already.
I need someone who likes/ loves me the way i am.
About me wanting to lose some kgs, let me do it my own way.
You are truly happy with yourself, let me just be happy doing things my way.
I know, this is ignorant, but i need a more comforting words of advice.
It is good for you to become that attractive, but you dont have to insult others.
And i am the person who will just laugh in front of you, but inside, its burning.
It hurts so much, and nobody seems to care.

You who should not be named, I only have you, who are always there, n be my strength, who constantly say that I am the one you want n you will accept me no matter how much my kg is.
Be careful with what you just said, because we havent met for almost 2 years, and you do not know how bigger i became.
It will be more hurtful if u dont want me anymore, because right now, i only have you.

Its an emotional time of my life, because everyone is just too happy giving unnecessary comment about my size right now.
Benar, life is not just revolves around me, but in my world, i want to be the best, the prettiest, the brightest, the richest, the most loved and everything.

Note to self,
Let people live that way.
If you are not happy, let them be.
Dont listen to their nasty remarks, just be good to others.
Do good things.
Sedekah, supaya Allah balas dgn something better that will cheer you up.
Jaga hak Allah.
Jaga solat, the ultimate way to be close to Allah
Jaga solat, jaga solat, jaga solat.
Mudah mudahan Dia dengar doa kamu.
Bnyakkan puasa sunat. Puasa menjaga kamu dari perkara yg dilarang.
Bertaubat, dan istiqamah.

Kamu jaga hak Allah. Maka Allah will definitely listen to your doa.
Semoga kita semua sentiasa dalam redha Allah.

Bsp.
0044
08032014

how to deal with weight gain?

Yes, as the title speaks, i have gained a lot of kgs for this past few months. A lot, as in I can no longer fit my L size pants, and my M size shirts, and my second chin grows nicely like nobody's business. I said to one of my favorite persons, I have no motivation to lose weight, and I end up getting scolded by him. So, what he suggests me to motivate myself is, buy myself a wight scale -__- . I do not know what exactly contributes to my additional kgs, but my biggest suspect is makan nasi 2 kali sehari
*suspect abah kau, mmg la gemuk malam2 makan nasik jugak T_T*.... I rarely had the chance to jog, twice a week is already a lot. But no pain no gain, right? And no guts, no glory...

My current efforts:
I reduce my proportion of nasik,
I go for jog/brisk walk on weekends
I take overnight oat for breakfast
I tried drink a lot more plain water because this guy was never been close to me before
I wear baju kurung to work because I refuse to buy new clothes *self-motivate

My soon-to-be efforts:
I want to replace my nasi intake with oat, gotta try it today *tapi boleh lose wight ke? gotta do some googling later*
I wish to park jauh2 for class
I wish to use tangga instead of elevator
I wish to jog at least 2km on sunday morning
I wish to drink plain water, like a loooottttt
I wish to get back my old kgs for my next date *ehem

GO CRAY CRAY

I'll just make this one quick.
Just a little refreshment before going crazier with my final exam preparation.
Here we go, been my eye candy for the past 5 to 6 years.
Talk about a crazy fan girl.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

It's just a little crush

Not like I faint every time we touched

It's just some little thing

Not like everything I do depends on you

----By Jennifer Paige.

That's it for now.

The tuan tanah got something more realistic to to

As realistic as "Sampling Theory and Practice" text book.

I'm practically shivering.

Tomorrow is my first paper for my master's final examination.

Wish me luck babies..

Assalamualaikum.